Swearing Off the Likes of You

I LOVE mexican food, and occassionally, I'll get a HUGE craving for a nice margarita and south of the border fare. Tonight was the night. I just HAD to have some, so I strolled into one of my West Village Mexican restaurants, ordered a Prickly Pear margarita, and went to town! The Cuervo was taking affect, and my senses were becoming heightened, and as I was alone, enjoying the gorgeous sunset & weather at my patio table, I noticed a couple sit down across from me.

The business man was in his 40s, attractive with salt and pepper hair, and the female was an attractive 20-something-year old girl. I thought - Huh! - and went back to eating my chimichanga. I dismissed their presence there, trying to focus on how great my food was, how prickly pear was a delicious addition to a simple drink and perfect for these warm summer evenings, and Ooooo - I love chips & salsa!!! - however, as I was smearing the sour cream and guacamole on my perfect bite, the table across from mine's conversation was becoming unbearably louder. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop at all, but one couldn't help but overhear their exchange.

The male was obviously intelligent, was dressed extremely well, you could tell by looking at him that he had a nice job, and the female obviously worked in the same office. After briefly discussing the days work activities, they started in with normal conversation. The female was like, discussing the topic of like, football. It had to do with like, one of her college teams, I'm sure, because she like, seemed to know a lot about it. And, although she seemed to be like, fairly knowledgable...I started to like, notice just like, how many times in the actual context of her sentences that she was actually like, saying the word LIKE!!! It was literally, like every other word! She was saying LIKE so much that like, I was really like beginning to notice it and like, really get annoyed with like, how many actual times within the same sentence that she like, said the word LIKE. It was killing me!!! As I was thinking how stupid she sounded saying LIKE every two seconds, I noticed that the 40-something year old man - trying to fit in - had been sucked into her form of speech, and began interjecting his own batch of likes into his conversation. If that were not enough, this incredibly drunk table of NYU girls, loudly slurring their speech at the table behind them (those drinks are potent!) started in with like, their own ways of discussing like, how to properly drink alcohol, because like, you shouldn't just milk one glass of wine all night because that's like, a waste of good partying, instead, you should like, slam your beer and stuff because like, then you get the full affects of the alcohol in your system and can really like, enjoy yourself - and besides, you don't want your friends to like, think you're a wuss.

I couldn't believe it - I was being bombarded in a sea of LIKES - and I like, had to wonder just what the fascination was with this word? Is it because we've become so unintelligent over the past few years that we have problems expressing our true thoughts, because the word LIKE doesn't really like, explain or mean anything - it's just like, a filler word!!! Like - UM!!! or Ah....it means nothing! Or have we become desensitized to all forms of correct speech and language usage because our role models are social media influencers, Donald Trump, & Britney Spears? Or is it because we spend hours soaking in television shows and playing video games instead of using our brains and imagination to read a good book or a newspaper? What is happening to us?

Not only was I aggravated at the LIKE-A-THON happening around me, I kept thinking, why is this seemingly attractive and intelligent 40-something yr old man wasting his time hanging out with such an annoying idiotic female such as this, when he could actually be dating an attractive 30-something yr old - like me? This is the story of my life - this is my competition in the world of dating. He must really want to bang her. He has got to be seriously hard up because she was not THAT HOT to have to endure the pain of listening to her speak. I just don't understand it, why there are so many intelligent and attractive 30-something SINGLE females, who have great jobs, sexual experience, who make good money, and are longing to be in great relationships with some nice New York guy, and these 30, 40 and 50-something men are instead searching out these 20-something skinny, moronic bimbos? The entire scene upset me so much, that Thank GOD I was finished with my meal, because everyone was making me, LIKE, lose my appetite!

I paid the check and got out of there, breathing a sigh of relief to get away from it all, but as I was walking the two blocks to my apartment I passed a female LIKE-ING on the phone, and a couple of friends abusing the LIKES of the English language in front of my building, so I made the decision then and there - no more using the word LIKE in my vocabulary!